Boring Colleague Thinks Monkey Pox Is Substitute For Having An Interesting Personality

LIVERPOOL, UK — Your tepid and boring colleague who uses whatever the latest trend is to fill a personality-shaped hole in his being, has just jumped on the Monkey Pox bandwagon. "When I met him he kept telling everyone he's a Game of Thrones fan, like that was his thing... but everyone was a Game of Thrones fan, that's not a personality," recalled one office witness. "Then it was bouldering for a long time, and now it's Monkey Pox, which is really more of viral disease, and it's not even unique humans."

Reports claim that your colleague came into work and stood around the coffee station, waiting for people to ask him about the blisters and sores covering his entire face and body so that he could corner them in a conversation about it. "You'd ask him and at first he'll pretend like he doesn't know what you're talking about for a second before going, 'What? Oh, right, you mean these! I guess I'm just so use to them I sometimes forget that I have the mox— right, sorry, that's what we call Monkey Pox in the Monkey Pox community'... By that stage I feel like pouring boiling water on my own face just to get out of that conversation."

At press time, everyone's stopped using the office mugs and cutlery.