Dad Exaggerates Sneeze In Transparent Bid For Attention

Local Camberwell dad, Mark Harrington, set off a cracking ka-choo yesterday in a desperate and transparent bid for attention from his family. “I feared for my safety,” commented a nextdoor neighbour, “I thought it was a seismic event like Japan 2011 all over again.” 

While the surrounding community was startled, the Harrington household was unimpressed with some critics, like daughter Alexia, pointing out that it’s obviously an insecure ploy for attention. “Don’t acknowledge him, a bless-you will just encourage it,” she said. “He wants to feel relevant because he’s scared people will forget about him, but all he has left to offer is cartoonish physical humour.” 

At press time, every sip of Mark’s morning coffee was followed by self-satisfied lip-smacking and a sigh.