Democracy Addict Relapses Again

LONDON, UK — After staying clean since the last general election five years ago, Sarah, a local democracy fiend has tragically relapsed. "She fell in with the wrong crowd again," commented one concerned family member, "they kept egging each other on to be more politically active — I wish I intervened sooner."

Common relapse triggers cause addicts to fall back into bad habits. As Sarah explained, "The posters, the campaigning, the live debates, they're all triggers for me. Then I registered with my local constituency because I told myself I had it under control, I thought 'what's the harm in just registering a little bit I'm not hurting anyone'. But then one day you're having a few drinks and the next thing you know you've blacked out and wound up in the booth in the middle of the day with a pencil in your hand."

Her problems with voting started at a young age. "You're only supposed to vote once your 18," she said, "but like everyone else I started in late high-school: team captain elections, prefect elections, it didn't seem like a big deal. I grew up in a household where voting was seen as normal behaviour. My advice to kids would be to never even start. I wish I never started voting."

At press time, Sarah spiralled further, pawning her parents' silverware to donate money to her favourite political party.

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