Gambling Addict Unfazed By Poor Odds That Her Vote Will Matter

A crippling insensitivity to risk has made a local gambling addict, Brittney Devon, pin her entire sense of political agency on the vanishingly poor odds that her vote will make a difference in the election. “I’m here to win big,” she told reporters as she came out of the polling station. “Meaningful political action is one of the most valuable human experiences, and that jackpot will be all mine once my individual vote makes a difference this year!”

Brittney takes a win-big-or-lose-it-all approach once every four years, as she is not politically active other than on voting day. “I don’t want to slog through rallies or direct action, I just want my vote to be the one that definitively swings this election.”  

When her individual vote made no impact, Brittney became manic-depressive. “I could swing the election if I could vote just one more time,” she cried out in desperation. “Please just one more vote!”

At press time, she started harassing friends and family members for their votes.