Love Wins: Parents’ Marriage Is Saved As Cost Of Living Makes Divorce Financially Unworkable

LONDON, UK — Local daughter, Sophia, smiles gleefully as her parent's marriage is spared, as the cost of living makes a divorce financially unworkable. “Instead of a broken home, we want our little princess to grow up in an environment filled with tension and poorly-concealed enmity, held together by fickle finances,” said Sophia's mother.

"I knew they'd stay together," Sophia proudly told reporters, referring to her parents' recent decision to avoid divorce. "They suddenly saw how much they mean to each other when they realised that dividing their assets, purchasing two homes, and maintaining two separate lives would be impossible in today’s economy."

When asked if her parents would ever consider actually separating, Sophia reported that she hopes her parents will "stay together forever — I like it when they both pretend everything’s fine.”

At press time, Sophia was reportedly overheard asking her mother why Dad slept on the couch again.