Man In Better Shape After Sweating In Front Of Olympic Highlights Every Night

MANCHESTER, UK — The Daily Moon has exclusive coverage of a worthless meatbag who's in the best shape of his life after sweating in front of the Olympics on TV every night. "I'm glad to see him applying himself I guess," said the meatbag's flatmate, "but the couch is still sopping by the time I get up in the morning, and I have to stand over it with a hairdryer until the windows fog up and the room smells like broccoli."

The meatbag reported increased delusions of confidence and an improved mood. "Seeing the progress I've made is incredible — I'm able to watch Olympic highlight videos now that I wouldn't even have dreamed of watching a month ago. At first I'd get tired after twenty minutes, but now I can go for hours."

At press time, the meatbag planned on taking some time to recover before hitting it hard again in 2026.