Mom Forces Other Kids To Play With Keir Starmer

With his low personal popularity and reputation for flip-flopping, his mom had to force other kids to play with Labour Party leader Keir Starmer. "Come on, kids, give Keir a chance,” said his mom, “I know he's not as exciting as Boris or as wealthy as Sunak, but he's very organized!" she reportedly exclaimed, attempting to corral the reluctant children into the backyard where Starmer was already setting up a board game that no one liked to play.

These attempts were met with blank stares and muttered excuses to go inside and do homework, with many kids citing Keir’s stance on trans rights and the war in Gaza as reasons for his unpopularity. “I don’t want to play with him, he has cooties!!" said a 6-year-old girl named Monica, “And he’s watered down some of the Labour Party’s most progressive goals, despite still being the only real opposition to the Conservatives’ burning garbage." 

At press time, his mom was seen coaxing Starmer with a juice box and encouraging him to "just try a little harder" while the kids plotted their escape.