Tommy Robinson Becomes Environmental Activist, Fearing Climate Change Will Bring Refugees

Tommy Robinson has blocked the M25 with his own body to call for greener government policies, fearing that foreigners displaced by climate change might seek refuge in the UK. “Climate change will displace millions of refugees from underdeveloped countries,” he stated with wide-eyed terror, “They’ll pour over our borders, leech off our economy, and destroy our way of life,” he repeated manically to himself. Sources close to Robinson report that he despises asylum-seekers so much it makes him  want to prevent a climate catastrophe. 

Other protesters agreed that they want to prevent a refugee crisis, but denied that it’s because they hate immigrants from poor countries. A Just Stop Oil spokesperson commented on the surprising support they’ve received from Robinson in recent weeks. “Fair enough, he’s so racist that it’s actually started making him a better person in other areas of his life. Instead of driving a car, he now even rides a bicycle to work apparently. Kudos! But for him it’s a right-wing ethnic nationalist thing.”

At presstime, Robinson insisted on the importance of recycling: “"Cardboard, paper, tins, every group goes where it belongs, without mixing! And stay out of my damn country, plastic!"