Tumour Pledges To Lead Most Pro-Growth Treasury In UK History

A tumour, which emerged unexpectedly during a routine check-up, has quickly ascended the ranks of British politics, promising a robust and aggressive economic expansion strategy. “We’re excited about the tumour’s potential,” said an oncologist for the Treasury, “and within the next financial year we might be looking at a diagnosis of stage-three economic growth.”

The tumour’s rapid rise to power has been met with mixed reactions. Some hail it as a bold and innovative leader, others are more sceptical, questioning the ethics and long-term health implications of unrestrained growth.

At press time, the Treasury assured the public that the economic policies of an actual tumour would be more benign than the malignant austerity of the last fourteen years.